Karen Ladley's blog

I Eeeeeeeeek P

The mischievous grin spread across his face as he slides his tiny socked feet into my 2 ½ inch heels.  He doesn’t think I see him, but I do.  Daddy warns, “Drew, those aren’t your shoes.”  His grin widens.  I say, “If you can walk in ‘em, you are welcome to wear them.”  He laughs, tries to stand up and looks at the heels.  He considers for a moment, locks eyes with me, and then tosses them off his feet, grabbing for his Lightning McQueen sneakers instead.

This is my son, the one who tests boundaries, has the personality of a Hollywood celebrity, and makes us laugh constantly.  He is full of personality, vitality, enthusiasm for everything….and yet in just two weeks I will be in a room with close to a dozen professionals spelling out everything that is wrong with him.

IEP meetings are one million times worse than the dentist.  You still feel like someone is pulling your teeth…wrenching out the largest molar, hoping in the end to bill you an unfair amount for pain and torture.   You sit there with people who think your child is broken but not in a way that impacts his education.  They try to wrangle free of the burden they have to educate him in a fair, free, and appropriate manner as per the law. You, as his parent and advocate, have to link his shortfalls and how it impacts his education and, much as a lawyer would do, make a case for money to be spent on your kid.  It is emotionally taxing to a degree I would never wish on anyone, yet the parents who undergo this torture are usually the ones already exhausted from working  with their children and carting them to and from therapists and doctors.

We aren’t one of those families.  We are blessed to only have some minor speech delays and sensory processing difficulties.  Minor, but still obstacles to learning that will prohibit our success in kindergarten.  While I thank God for the progress Drew has made, I get ill this time of year.  He is the type of child who is left behind.  He is the one who gets the amateur teacher who thinks he has a behavioral problem and punishes him, as is happening right now to a friend’s child, by placing him in a dark closet.  I have to fight for him because he is making such fantastic progress and we can’t pull back now. 

I have tried to go to work after previous meetings, but this time, I will not.   I’ll spend time with Andrew and pray he never knows all of the negative things I have to say for this process to work for him.  I don’t know if we’ll win…a few friends with similar situations have been denied in the last week.   I have already printed the paperwork for decision mediation and a legal due process hearing…the next steps we’ll take if denied.  I’ll set them both down in front of me at the small table…to show them that I’m serious. 

I Eeeeeeeeek P

The mischievous grin spread across his face as he slides his tiny socked feet into my 2 ½ inch heels.  He doesn’t think I see him, but I do.  Daddy warns, “Drew, those aren’t your shoes.”  His grin widens.  I say, “If you can walk in ‘em, you are welcome to wear them.”  He laughs, tries to stand up and looks at the heels.  He considers for a moment, locks eyes with me, and then tosses them off his feet, grabbing for his Lightning McQueen sneakers instead.

This is my son, the one who tests boundaries, has the personality of a Hollywood celebrity, and makes us laugh constantly.  He is full of personality, vitality, enthusiasm for everything….and yet in just two weeks I will be in a room with close to a dozen professionals spelling out everything that is wrong with him.

IEP meetings are one million times worse than the dentist.  You still feel like someone is pulling your teeth…wrenching out the largest molar, hoping in the end to bill you an unfair amount for pain and torture.   You sit there with people who think your child is broken but not in a way that impacts his education.  They try to wrangle free of the burden they have to educate him in a fair, free, and appropriate manner as per the law. You, as his parent and advocate, have to link his shortfalls and how it impacts his education and, much as a lawyer would do, make a case for money to be spent on your kid.  It is emotionally taxing to a degree I would never wish on anyone, yet the parents who undergo this torture are usually the ones already exhausted from working  with their children and carting them to and from therapists and doctors.

We aren’t one of those families.  We are blessed to only have some minor speech delays and sensory processing difficulties.  Minor, but still obstacles to learning that will prohibit our success in kindergarten.  While I thank God for the progress Drew has made, I get ill this time of year.  He is the type of child who is left behind.  He is the one who gets the amateur teacher who thinks he has a behavioral problem and punishes him, as is happening right now to a friend’s child, by placing him in a dark closet.  I have to fight for him because he is making such fantastic progress and we can’t pull back now. 

I have tried to go to work after previous meetings, but this time, I will not.   I’ll spend time with Andrew and pray he never knows all of the negative things I have to say for this process to work for him.  I don’t know if we’ll win…a few friends with similar situations have been denied in the last week.   I have already printed the paperwork for decision mediation and a legal due process hearing…the next steps we’ll take if denied.  I’ll set them both down in front of me at the small table…to show them that I’m serious. 

Holidays and Family

After nearly a year apart, my brother and his family paid us a visit on Easter weekend.

 

Playground

The peanut in the middle is mine, of course...but the other two are so precious to me, as well.  Sam is my Godson.  Aly is the only girl in our family... like I was.  They are both so easy to love and so much fun to be around.  I adore them...and so does Drew. 

Playing

He played really well with Sammy, who is 2 years his senior.  Aly and Drew were like brother and sister and it was so much fun to see how they all interacted with each other and with the many animals we met during their stay.

 

We took all of the kids to an egg hunt event at the battleship where they also got to play with bunnies, puppies, and ponies.  Then, the kids also visited a local toy store where they could hold dwarf rabbits. 

 

 

 

 

On Easter Saturday, our community held an egg hunt and egg races.  All of the kids won and received stuffed bunnies.

 

 

Race

 

Samrace

Later that night, the kids searched for clues and ended up with big Easter baskets from their Nonna and Pop pop.  They were spoiled rotten...which is just what you expect from their grandparents.

 

 

Pose

Sunday was the time for goodbyes and for the Easter Bunny to visit.  It was a wonderful weekend...one we won't soon forget.

 

Eastermorning

 

 

 

 

 

 

Karate Kid

We enrolled Andrew in gymnastics a few months ago and it turned out that it wasn't his cup of tea.  He participated as much as the other kids but one weekend, when it was time to go to class, he asked to stay home, so we did.  We never went back.  Then, one day he decided he loved, loved, loved the movie Kung Fu Panda.  He also decided he knew kung fu and began practicing all around the house.  I asked if he would like to learn martial arts and he seemed very interested.  He is now a little Tae Kwon Do student and it is absolutely adorable!

MOV01741

This weekend, we had a double-header.  Two classes within just a few hours of each other.  The center is closed next week for a training so they lumped two classes together.  Andrew was eager for class both times. The kids did pretty well and at the end they played a game of gotcha! to reward them for their hard work.

MOV01743

  So, after those two videos you can probably guess how we ended the day...a little Rita's Ice and a lot of this...

DSC01746

                                                  Sleep well, my little Dragon Warrior.

Karate Kid

We enrolled Andrew in gymnastics a few months ago and it turned out that it wasn't his cup of tea.  He participated as much as the other kids but one weekend, when it was time to go to class, he asked to stay home, so we did.  We never went back.  Then, one day he decided he loved, loved, loved the movie Kung Fu Panda.  He also decided he knew kung fu and began practicing all around the house.  I asked if he would like to learn martial arts and he seemed very interested.  He is now a little Tae Kwon Do student and it is absolutely adorable!

MOV01741

This weekend, we had a double-header.  Two classes within just a few hours of each other.  The center is closed next week for a training so they lumped two classes together.  Andrew was eager for class both times. The kids did pretty well and at the end they played a game of gotcha! to reward them for their hard work.

MOV01743

  So, after those two videos you can probably guess how we ended the day...a little Rita's Ice and a lot of this...

DSC01746

                                                  Sleep well, my little Dragon Warrior.

Virtual Preschool

We are so blessed to have found a great school for Andrew.  We went through some rough patches in both Georgia and here in North Carolina because most Birth-K teachers have less than an associates degree under their belts.  They know little about early child development and it shows. 

Andrew is now in a class he loves and each morning, he eagerly gets himself dressed and ready for his next adventure.  His class takes field trips and enjoys in-class guest speakers.  He met McGruff the crime dog most recently and the Easter Bunny will be there in a few weeks.  These experiences help ease the guilt I feel about working every day.  He loves going to school and playing with his friends. He loves his adventures and if I was home with him, I doubt we would do as much as he gets to do in preschool.

I also love that his school offers speech therapy during the day.  He thinks it is just part of his fun.

 

Firemandrew

This is him playing fireman.  The kids put the fire out and have to use language skills to explain what they are doing.  They also use peer communication skills.

I have this picture and others like it because Drew's teacher has a blog.  It is one similar to this one, but we can post images and information as well.  She also posts to us on Facebook and I love not only having the channels of communication but also seeing images, as if I was there.

 

Crashtestdummy

 

The Lives of the Ladleys

Our lives these days are kinda crazy.  We're both working full-time jobs and I am still in school, so there is little time for much else, outside of caring for Drew.  Brian also works on Saturdays.  In the last two weeks, I applied to be a candidate in a weight loss challenge (I'm clearly insane) and have lost a few pounds.  The challenge requires 3 workouts at the college gym each week and that has been interesting, to say the least.  I have to squeeze a lunchtime workout in once per week, one at night and one on our early afternoons on Fridays.  The other 2 workouts I'm requred to do, can be done outside of the gym.  I stick those in on weeknights at our community gym.

All of this has left Brian and I with little us time.  I feel like we are strangers passing in the night.  The evenings I don't workout, I am studying and writing papers.  Those nights, he has Drew duty.  It is like a finely tuned machine.  We just pass Andrew back and forth like a batton and he willingly obliges.  On the flip side, the workouts have helped me get more energy and a better attitude toward everything else. 

Now, Brian wants in on the feeling and is going to hit the gym too.  Can we tweak this machine a little bit more?  Will nuts and bolts spring lose like in those old Tom & Jerry cartoons?  Stay tuned....

Beautiful Boy

I recently came upon a great deal for family photos and eagerly signed us up.  Then we had an icy morning and I didn't want to travel over the Cape Fear River.  We pushed the photos off a week which coincided with the day we were getting our taxes done.  So, Drew and I went alone.  I wasn't upset...it made for a great Valentine's present for Brian.

 

Drewkisses

Drew had a bit of eczema on his face from the cold weather, but there were a few great shots where you couldn't see it.  The photographer took about 40 pics and these are just some of the ones I saved to my computer.

Tickle

I will always cherish these shots.  They are very us and how we typically interact when we're together.

I love this little guy so very much.  One day, when he looks at these shots, I hope he remembers how I've always felt about him and how I always will.

 

Kiss

Beautiful Boy

I recently came upon a great deal for family photos and eagerly signed us up.  Then we had an icy morning and I didn't want to travel over the Cape Fear River.  We pushed the photos off a week which coincided with the day we were getting our taxes done.  So, Drew and I went alone.  I wasn't upset...it made for a great Valentine's present for Brian.

 

Drewkisses

Drew had a bit of eczema on his face from the cold weather, but there were a few great shots where you couldn't see it.  The photographer took about 40 pics and these are just some of the ones I saved to my computer.

Tickle

I will always cherish these shots.  They are very us and how we typically interact when we're together.

I love this little guy so very much.  One day, when he looks at these shots, I hope he remembers how I've always felt about him and how I always will.

 

Kiss

Is This Thing On?

I've been blogging a lot on the down low...on the locked part of this site.

There are several reasons.  The fear of someone seeing too much of Drew or our family is a biggie.  I once got a few strange comments on this site and locked it the next day.  Another reason is the feedback I get from friends and family (mostly family) when I write about personal things, feelings, and happenings.  I am told some of these things aren't for you to see, but I call it free therapy.  I am a broadcaster without a venue, save this one last channel of communication.  To me, there are lots of areas that should be off limits, but the rest is fair game.  Plus, most of you are close friends and family so if I lock the site, I am controlling who gets in and who doesn't.  The thing is, once I locked the site, I stopped getting comments.  I miss comments, I need comments...where did everyone go?

By the way, you can always request to see the locked side...it isn't very involved.  Just sign up for a free Vox account and request to be my neighbor...won't you be my neighbor?

I blogged on here recently that a lot of people I once followed have stopped blogging all together.  It is mostly Facebook's fault, but they are slowly coming back now and said they just didn't have the time.  I'm so glad to have them.  I missed reading about their families, jobs and problems that mirror so many of our own.

I have new pics of Drew and some stories to share...I'll try to get those up this week.